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This is the second installment in a six-part series by Dr. Jeffery Baker. You can start from the beginning and read all six parts by visiting Dr. Baker’s Rebel Storytellers page.
At this point I am operating on the assumption that you went to the authentic happiness website, found the questionnaires, and took the strength assessment test. Now you have defined your value compass and have begun to develop awareness and acknowledgment of what is really important to you in life. For most people this discovery, and the work they put into uncovering their core values, is exciting in and of itself. I also hope that it’s helping you develop a new lexicon by which to articulate the deep tenets that are important to you. Most people experience a resonance during this part of the process. Often people will tell me they experience a type of energy when they identify their signature strengths and core values. Immediately we begin to review our history and are able to spot those signature strengths and values as we have practiced them in our past.
The all-important question emerges, “How do I practice and apply these values and strengths?” Additional questions are, “Why is there a gap between my principles and my actions?” Some could even say that they have practiced their values at one point in their lives, but somehow fell away. “Why does that happen?”
So let’s start by discussing one area of concern in your life. A good place to start is your work life. Exploring and evaluating what you value about working often brings up things like, enjoying mastering a skill or even just acting responsibly so as to enjoy your accomplishments or trophies. Just because you value being uber-responsible does not mean you are actually uber-productive. There are barriers which derail us from putting feet on our heart’s desire.
In order to understand and answer the question, “How do I practice my strengths?” you must do an exercise with me first. Take out paper and a pen and set aside 15 minutes to contemplate your answers.
Imagine if you will that a miracle happened and suddenly your job turned into the perfect career. It is absolutely your dream job, everything you’ve wanted, making the money you believe you deserve, and all those annoying issues are gone.
What would you stop, start, do more of and less of?
What sort of worker would you try to become?
What type of qualities would you develop?
What type of attitude would you cultivate toward your job?
What can emerge from this exercise are the objective behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that are directly connected to your signature strengths and values.
I would like for you to consider following your values like a compass so that you can practice your signature strengths wherever, whenever, and with whomever you choose. Unlike a goal that is static and fixed, your value compass moves in a direction. Goals are outcomes that happen as a result of moving in a value direction. When you start practicing following your compass, it often requires that you let go of your rules for life. Those demanding beliefs dictate and control your behavior under certain conditions. They create restriction, stress, and encumbrance you with tyrannical demands. They are rules which create the obstacles and barriers between our values and our behavior. They are the primary reason for the gap between what you want to do and what you end up doing. Because you have practiced these rules for many years they are powerful and on autopilot. They can account for why you end up relapsing after you have had those periods when you were acting on your values and strengths. They make you immune to long-term growth. Such are the rules you have constructed for yourself as it relates to your job and when you would be willing to behave in a value directed manner. An example would be, “I need to be respected by _____ before I can _____.”
In contrast, a value compass gives you plenty of flexibility and engages you in the question of, “Who do I want to be?” in this circumstance. For example, part of my value compass is fitness. It is the type of person I want to be. Many, many, years ago I was a professional athlete. During my training one of the unspoken rules was to be able to bench press your own weight. I have let go of that rule and seek to practice being a fit person in a million small actions. I might make a food choice that adheres to fitness or I might to take two steps at a time when going up the stairs.
The best way I can describe this practice of following a value compass is that you re-craft how an activity is done so as to behave in the direction of your strengths and values. My ongoing question to myself is whether or not I’m moving in the direction of fitness. I really doubt that I will be as fit as I once was in my early 20’s as a competitive athlete. I don’t believe Jimmy the Olympic coach has my number on speed dial just in case he needs me to fill in. At my age, and with the time I have, and the lifestyle I live, I can make many decisions that move me in the direction of fitness.
In doing so I find vitality and a sense of purpose and meaning. It may sound silly that eating an apple for a snack would give me vitality and a sense of purpose, but it does because it’s important for me to move in the direction of fitness even in the smallest behavior. So my challenge to you is to begin to re-craft and open your mind to seeking every opportunity to practice value directed behavior in any and all circumstances to discover the energy and vitality and purposeful behavior. Challenge yourself with this question, “What is the smallest step I can take today to move in the direction of _____?”
For those of you who were adventurous enough to approach your job, relationships, spiritual life, or leisure activities with value directed behavior, you will have an intrinsic sense of gratification. You also probably discover very quickly that doing so has a price tag. Living a value directed lifestyle is not comfortable. What shows up makes it quite difficult to create a lifestyle around following your signature strengths. In my next article I will address the obstructions that immediately and naturally show up when we attempt to live by our values.
Photo (Flickr CC) by Kate Ter Haar
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Dr. Jeffery Baker
Latest posts by Dr. Jeffery Baker (see all)
- Free To Be Me: Part II - May 8, 2015
- I Pity the Fool Who Procrastinates - April 22, 2015
- Free to Be Me - January 14, 2015
- The Best Gift I Was Given - December 12, 2014
- Goals Set on Fire - November 24, 2014