Hot Guys and Baby Animals

In Doing The Deed by Holly Walker

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I’ve never met a calendar I didn’t like. Well, sure. There are some boring ones (just how many calendars do we really need of Ireland?) and some nudey ones that are just … well … incorrigible … but most calendars are okay by me.


I usually take a trip to Barnes and Noble around the middle of January to see what calendars they have left in the 50% off bin. By that time I’m usually scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as classy calendars go. But the worse they are, the better I like them! Last January I hit pay dirt.

Meet the ‘Hot Guys and Baby Animals’ calendar! It’s completely ridiculous and I absolutely love it! The hot guys look so sincere, and the animals they’re coupled with quite often look just like them! My favorite this year was ‘Michael’ who had the exact same smile as ‘Franklin’ the pot-bellied pig.

Next year’s calendar features a picture of a shirtless man wearing a scarf and a Russian hat holding two black and white puppies. What makes it better, or worse depending on how you look at it, are the captions. “Adrian is perfecting his British accent. Phillip and Alexander are helping with his Cockney dialect.” It just kills me!

I usually have to wait till mid-January to get my best/worst calendar fix, but this year I did something different. Strolling in the dollar store (again), I found a stack of calendars. They weren’t ‘Hot Guys and Baby Animals,’ but they were only a dollar. I grabbed one. It’s printed on really thin paper. The pictures look like old French post cards. It’s called ‘French Garden.’ I decided to put it to good use.

One thing that Facebook is good for, besides showing me Old Navy “Must Haves,” is birthday notices. By clicking the ‘See All’ button, I can see a year’s worth of birthdays … that and all the “50-Year-Old Men Who Want to Date Me Now!”

I spent an hour or so jotting down birthdays of close friends and family that I want to send hand-written cards to as well as birthdays of semi-close friends I want to remember. I’ll send them quirky E-Cards instead.

GOOD NIGHT, IRENE!!! I’ve got a LOT of friends that were born in May! Apparently August is the Sexy-Romping-See-More-Skin-An-Less-Birth-Control Month.

I shot emails to friends whose current snail mail addresses I didn’t have. Most of them answered while I was still online. It was fun touching base with them even for a minute. That silly, love-filled interaction made my birthday calendar worth it already.

So many shining stars have gone out lately. Not just celebrities, but friends and loved ones close to home. I never know when a loved one will be gone forever. I’m going to make a concerted effort to tell those that make my world brighter that I’m happy they were born.

I sent my first four birthday cards out today. One of them might even get there on time. My new birthday calendar isn’t filled with ‘Hot Guys and Baby Animals’ but it IS filled with people I care about. And who knows? Maybe I can get some of them to pose with baby animals.

Photo (Flickr CC) by Mohd Khomaini Mohd Sidik

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Holly Walker

Holly Walker

Ms. Walker made her acting debut at the tender age of 8 in For Spring is the Season of Happiness. She almost turned down the role of Mother Nature (she wanted the role of "Spring") until she found out Mother Nature had the most lines. On that day, a diva was born. Holly has traveled the world performing comedy. She has been to more than 40 U.S. states and over 30 countries worldwide. She is an alum of the improvisational companies Boom Chicago and The Second City. Holly currently works on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore as a writer and performer. She has been a part of the Rebel Storytellers family since 2009 and hopes to be with them for many years to come.
Holly Walker

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