kidscreaming

I Kid You Not

In Doing The Deed by Holly Walker

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This is going to be a controversial blog.

Today’s good deed: TELL PARENTS WHEN THEIR KIDS SEEM WELL BEHAVED OR SMART OR NICE

I’m tired of kids throwing tantrums in grocery stores. You’ve seen them. You’ve heard them. They’re growing by the numbers. They behave like little monsters. Some kids should only be allowed out on Thursdays between 3:00 and 5:00 pm.

What I see more and more often is parents not wanting to be the “bad guys.” They want to be friends with their children. Kids have enough friends at school. Parents are supposed to provide boundaries, structure, and discipline, not little dog leashes to strap their kids into. Good grief! Are you raising a kid or a rottweiler?

I don’t have children so maybe I don’t have the right to voice my opinion. But if I did have kids, I would spank them. I would. I’d start it when they were very young. I’d pop them on their little diapers, not enough to hurt them, but enough to let them know what I say goes.

Spanking might not be the solution for everyone, but whatever parents are doing these days is not working.

Today I went to the Olive Garden with a group of friends. When we arrived, there was yet another child running around the restaurant screaming. Parents of unruly kids should be required to hire the Super Nanny. Or be taxed more. Or be required to move to the Island of Unruly Kids.

Then something unusual happened. Parents with a little girl walked into the restaurant. She couldn’t have been more than 2. They sat her in a high chair and gave her the crayons that the OG provided. She sat quietly and colored. At one point she sang a quiet little song to herself while her parents carried on a conversation. Even when she dropped her crayon she didn’t make a fuss. She pointed and pointed. She made the tiniest of noises to indicate what she had lost. Her mother showed her another crayon. She took it and went on coloring.

At the end of my meal I had to go over and tell them what a great job they were doing as parents. I complimented them on their sweet, well-behaved, well-adjusted, happy child.

All four people, the parents, the child … and the waitress … looked up at me in wonder. It seems I was now the interruptive child in the restaurant. The waitress was trying to take their order. Oops. I excused myself, there was a beat, and they went back to ordering their Eggplant Parmesan.

I don’t know what happened in Adrian Peterson’s household. Maybe he needs to hire the Super Nanny. Who’s to say? What I do know is that it was too bad he wasn’t at the Olive Garden today. He could have seen great parenting in action … and a great kid.

Photo (Flickr CC) by Michael LaMartin

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Holly Walker

Ms. Walker made her acting debut at the tender age of 8 in For Spring is the Season of Happiness. She almost turned down the role of Mother Nature (she wanted the role of "Spring") until she found out Mother Nature had the most lines. On that day, a diva was born. Holly has traveled the world performing comedy. She has been to more than 40 U.S. states and over 30 countries worldwide. She is an alum of the improvisational companies Boom Chicago and The Second City. Holly currently works on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore as a writer and performer. She has been a part of the Rebel Storytellers family since 2009 and hopes to be with them for many years to come.
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