Over Easy

In Doing The Deed by Holly Walker

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Ahhh … the perfect cup of coffee. Not too bold. Not too weak. It has just the right amount of sugar and cream in it. Perfection. Don’t you love it when that happens?

It’s my day off and I’m enjoying my coffee with some leftover ‘Over Easy Mac & Cheesy.’ It’s an over easy egg with bacon and hash browns ON TOP OF macaroni and cheese. And if that weren’t decadent enough, it comes with a side order of Hawaiian bread. It’s a heart attack on a plate, but it’s sooooo good.

I could choose to eat healthier, but this is my day off. THIS is my choice.

Some people don’t have a choice.


Now that my belly’s full, I set out to fill someone else’s. First, I run across a woman looking in garbage bins. When I ask her what she’s looking for she says, “Napkins.” I ask her if she wants food and she says, “Nope. Just napkins.” I leave her to her quest.

As I’m walking back to my car, I spy a Chipotle. They’ve got napkins. It wouldn’t really be stealing. I mean … the napkins are just sitting there waiting to be used. So I liberate some napkins.

I present the napkins to the homeless woman. She looks up with a huge smile and thanks me. I look back as I drive away to see her back in the garbage bins looking for more napkins.

The next guy I come across looks homeless, but I can’t be sure. I roll down my window and ask, “Are you alright?” He smiles broadly and nods his head. I’ve learned that you can’t just assume someone’s homeless. I did once before. I bought a sandwich for a guy because I thought he was homeless. Turns out he just made poor fashion choices.

As I drive around looking for someone else to help, I see a woman in a black thong bikini. She’s being photographed in front of the hood of a classic grey Mustang while eating an In & Out burger. Only in L.A.

I see a man who’s barely making it and I ask again, “Are you alright?” He shakes his head no. I ask if he’s hungry. “No,” he says. “I need money.” I ask about food again and his reply is the same.

“I can give you $5,” I say.

“You can?!?”


I hand him a five-dollar bill and he says, “You’re an angel.” I continue on my trek for someone to feed.

I see a brawny black man jogging up the street. Never mind lunch … dinner is served!

I still hadn’t found anyone to buy a meal. This is taking longer than I thought. Where is a homeless person when you need one?!?! I got it. Freeway exit ramps.

Sure enough, there’s a guy holding up a sign that says, “Hard times. Just trying to survive. Anything appreciated.” I get an extra large meal deal from a drive thru and get on the freeway. The traffic and stoplights are on my side and I stop right in front of him. I hand him the meal and the super-sized Coke. He said, “I’m trying not to drink soda because I don’t want to … thank you. Thank you.” He takes the bag and goes back to his sign.

Next time, I think I’ll do what these guys did.

I am truly blessed. Not only do I get to eat three square meals a day, but I also get to over-eat meals like ‘Over-Easy Mac & Cheesy.’ I take it for granted sometimes. Hopefully those days are over.

Photo (Flickr CC) by Franco Folini

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Holly Walker

Holly Walker

Ms. Walker made her acting debut at the tender age of 8 in For Spring is the Season of Happiness. She almost turned down the role of Mother Nature (she wanted the role of "Spring") until she found out Mother Nature had the most lines. On that day, a diva was born. Holly has traveled the world performing comedy. She has been to more than 40 U.S. states and over 30 countries worldwide. She is an alum of the improvisational companies Boom Chicago and The Second City. Holly currently works on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore as a writer and performer. She has been a part of the Rebel Storytellers family since 2009 and hopes to be with them for many years to come.
Holly Walker

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