It’s not my fault if things just happen to work to my advantage.
Today’s good deed: TAKE A SIBLING OUT TO A MOVIE
This was an easy deed for me. Who doesn’t love a good movie? And who doesn’t love a good friend to share it with? What a blessing when that friend is your brother!
My brothers and I have the same taste in movies. Well … mostly the same. We disagree on horror movies and chick flicks (they see them as one and the same), but other than that we have the same taste.
We had no problem deciding which movie to see. What we did have a problem with was deciding who was going to pay for the tickets. I wanted to pay for both of them; my brother wanted to “go Dutch.”
On the way to the movie theater we debated whether or not I would pick up the tickets. My brother wasn’t having it. I still picked up the tickets. Did I scheme, plot, or swindle? I will neither confirm nor deny any trickery on my part, however, I present to you for your reading pleasure, “Holly Walker: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.”
Step 1: Arrive Late to the Movie Theater.
The timing of this is crucial. You have to arrive 4-5 minutes into the previews. If you arrive too early, your “mistake” can be corrected; arrive too late and you run the risk of missing the beginning of the film.
Step 2: Go to a Theater with Plexiglass Between You and the Cashier.
This makes ordering your ticket easier to hear for the person you’re with but harder to hear for the cashier. If the cashier has to talk to you through a microphone, even better.
Step 3: Use Slight of Hand.
Say, “May I have one ticket please?” but show the cashier two fingers. Make sure the person you’re with is standing behind you and doesn’t see this hand gesture.
Step 4: Pay For Both Tickets.
Paying with a credit card hides the exact numeric transaction.
Step 5: Fake Confusion.
When you “find out” you bought two tickets say, “How did that happen? Oh well. You can pick up the tickets next time.”
Step 6: Grab the Tickets and Run!
Remind your companion that you’re already late for the movie and get out while the getting’s good!
A Walk Among the Tombstones was an entertaining thrill ride, but it wasn’t nearly as fun as just hanging out with my brother. Paying for his ticket was the icing on the con … I mean … cake.
Photo (Flickr CC) by Nomadic Lass