Random Musings

What If?

In Random Musings by Chris Day

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What if vegans / vegetarians / gluten free folks just ate their food and didn’t tell you about it?

What if teenage girls could actually “even?”

What if your stomach was literally so full that there really just wasn’t any room for Jell-O?

What if you had to take yoga for a certain number of hours before you got the pants?

What if I just chose to fill up at Kroger even when I didn’t have fuel points?

What if runners didn’t tell you how many miles they ran last weekend?

What if the Son of Sam was actually just so angry because no one would call him David?

What if the deer and the antelope had a complex about people thinking they goofed off too much?

What if girls realized that the title of the movie is different, but it’s still just going to be about a boy from the other side of the tracks and a controlling dad who refuses to let them be together?

What if junior high boys just showered more?

What if Garth Brooks needed to really do something important like stop a baby stroller from rolling into traffic? Would he regret ordering a Pina Colada for each hand?

What if the bags of cereal inside the box just had a Ziploc top? It’s 2014, right?

What if you actually caught fire while walking on hot coals? Stopping, dropping and rolling would seem like bad advice, right?

What if politicians didn’t get paid?

What if all the other orphans were just really above average on a size chart and Annie was just average-sized?

What if Johnny Paycheck worked as a baggage loader on an airplane, or an offensive lineman in football, or the guy who loads all the clowns into the tiny car? His boss would have been so confused when Johnny quit because he literally just shoved things all day anyway.

What if I actually just wanted to compare apples to oranges for a minute?

What if 45 degrees was actually a really ugly angle? Math teachers would be so limited with their jokes.

What if Waldo just needed a minute to himself?

What if MacDonald bought his farm in his twenties? Was it just that no one noticed he had it for a while?

What if new mothers realized that every baby has long fingers and toes, not just their baby?

What if YOU could add to this list …?

Photo (Flickr CC) by RVWithTito

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Chris Day

Chris Day

A college dropout, church pastor, and international arms dealer all walk into a bar … Luckily it’s not a huge tab because they’re all the same person. Chris began his college career in medicine and ended it (short) enrolled in religious studies. After several years in church work, Chris moved onto the next logical step: Dealing firearms, of course. More than a decade later, he’s still arming the world while also dabbling in comedy and acting. He sees himself as the William Hung of the writing world. No formal training, but overly enthusiastic and off key. You can follow Chris, but he may call the cops because he’s not on Twitter, so that would just be considered stalking.
Chris Day

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