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I’m a simple-minded guy. Because of this, occasionally I have to clear out all of the jumbled up mess in my head and rediscover a simple framework from which I can again function and live. I’ve had to do this numerous times. The rate at which my thinking is flooded with new ideas, new things I have to remember, is overwhelming. When I clean house I don’t always end up with the same simple paradigm. Though not completely different either, each simple context is relevant to what’s happening around me at that time.
Here’s what I landed on recently. With my mind whirling, I was once again seeking meaning for my life and asking myself, “What exactly am I supposed to be doing again?” From out of the fog emerged these 3 directives: (1) Attend to your own wounds; (2) attend to the wounds of those around you; (3) let God love you. Being that I trained to be a counselor and currently work in a pastoral counseling kind of job, the two bits about healing didn’t seem like a big surprise. That kind of thing is always on my mind anyway. But injury to the human spirit is the main objective of the evil one. Bringing salvation, which in the Biblical meaning of the word, is a bringing to wholeness; that is Jesus’ mission. And as I thought more about it I realized that I have a couple of assumptions packed in there.
Attend to my own wounds is not the same as “physician heal thyself.” I can’t fix what’s wrong with me. It’s more than I have the knowledge, will or strength to correct. I do however need to present myself for healing to the great physician. Most times I do not. I’m too busy. I also have a vague sense that the healing process will require something costly and probably painful from me. To be honest, I’d just rather not. At least, not until I finally become sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Eventually I flop myself at the feet of Jesus and say, “OK, I’m here, let’s get this over with.”
I have flown on airplanes enough to know that I have to address my own woundedness before I can be of help to anyone else. “In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure oxygen masks will fall from panels in the ceiling. Place one over your mouth and nose before assisting those around you.” It feels selfish, but we understand that if we pass out, we’ll be no good to anybody. So my own brokenness must be looked at first. The trick is—first but not only. That is my tendency. I get lost in self-examination which degenerates into self-absorption. My healing and restoration is not for my sake alone.
God blesses me so I can be a blessing to others (I know, it’s religious and cheesy, but it’s still true). Having been reconciled I participate in a ministry of reconciliation. Having been redeemed I am an agent of God’s redemption. I differ from those who would say that the focus of the church is to be on those outside of the church because, “This is not about us, it’s about them.” I think it is about us. It’s just not all about us.
Then lastly, I must let God love me. Think about this much and you might come to the decision, “Shouldn’t this one come first? If I were to let the full measure of God’s love wash over me, flow though me, wouldn’t that go a long way in healing all that’s wrong in me?” Probably. I just don’t seem to be able to turn it on that easily. My experience is that as I labor in the work of ministering grace and mercy to others I am struck with the force and power of God’s love. After I’ve witnessed the restoration of someone else I begin to believe it might also be available for me too. Having been the recipient of God’s tender work that heals, my broken heart begins to believe and trust itself to the love of God.
It turns out that letting God love us can be very difficult. My guess is that the majority of people, if asked to give 3 main things a follower of Jesus should do, would have somewhere in their list, “love God.” I find that it is far easier to love God than it is to let him love me. When I do decide to open my jaded, hardened heart up a crack to let even a little of God’s love in, love for God flows from me dramatically, automatically. I don’t have to conjure some emotion up. Emotion rises up within me. The hard part for me is to get over my disappointments and unmet expectations and to quit my pouting over life not going my way. When I do that and admit that still, even so, God has in fact shown love and kindness to me my heart is a little less hardened and I’m a better man.
There now, I’ve done it again. I’ve said so many words and had so many thoughts that my mind is getting clouded. Oh yeah, there it is again. Attend to my own wounds, attend to the wounds of those around me and let God love me.
Photo (Flickr CC) by martinak15
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Mark Lutz
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