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Jurassic Bark

In Doing The Deed by Holly Walker

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Today’s good deed comes from the ‘Ridiculous’ category.

Today’s good deed: BUY A PRESENT FOR A FRIEND’S BELOVED PET

I had dogs my entire childhood. We gave them balls and sticks. We never bought them “presents.”

Okay … once I bought a Christmas stocking for a dog. He ripped everything in it to shreds on the first day. I never bought another doggie present again. So the idea of giving someone’s pet a present is pretty weird to me.

I decided it wasn’t about the dog, it was about making my friend happy. So I found this present online.

Hahahaha!!!! This outfit kills me! And the idea of putting it on this particular dog makes me laugh even harder. This dog barks so much whenever I come to the door, my friend always scoops it up and puts it in the bedroom. It’s happened so often, I don’t even remember meeting this dog.

What I do know is that this dog is tiny. Tiny and mean. Putting this outfit on that dog would probably piss it off to no end. The anger would be very apropos for a raptor. This idea makes me howl with laughter!

Come to think of it, my girlfriend might even have two dogs.  Perfect. I’ve got a present for him too.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!! That’s ridiculous. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. This good deed thing is great!

I’ve been giggling about this all day. I can’t wait to see those pissed off dogs in these cockamamie outfits!

Turns out, I’m about a week too early to buy these outfits in the store. The local Target doesn’t stock Halloween costumes just yet. Boo. I end up buying chew toys.

As soon as I ring the doorbell, the dogs start barking. My girlfriend tells the kids to put the dogs in the bedroom. I give her the chew toys and tell her that I would like to mend any rift that the dogs may have against me. I don’t know what I did in the past, but I was here to make amends. She laughs and tells me to come in.

She shows me the cutest pictures of her dogs (oh, that’s what they look like!) and explains that they were scared and mistreated as puppies before she got them, so they mistrust people. She said once she saw them quiet down and behave for fried chicken. I behave for friend chicken as well … so I guess we have that in common.

This good deed brought my friend and I a little closer together, and for that I am thankful. I didn’t get to see those misunderstood dogs in those ridiculous outfits though, but I guess I can live with that.

I’ll buy the outfits later and put them on my girlfriend’s kids.

Photo (Flickr CC) by istolethetv

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Holly Walker

Ms. Walker made her acting debut at the tender age of 8 in For Spring is the Season of Happiness. She almost turned down the role of Mother Nature (she wanted the role of "Spring") until she found out Mother Nature had the most lines. On that day, a diva was born. Holly has traveled the world performing comedy. She has been to more than 40 U.S. states and over 30 countries worldwide. She is an alum of the improvisational companies Boom Chicago and The Second City. Holly currently works on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore as a writer and performer. She has been a part of the Rebel Storytellers family since 2009 and hopes to be with them for many years to come.
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